Saturday, 19 November 2011


Because the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Sandra Bullock said, in the movie Hope Floats, 'Beginnings are usually scary, and endings are usually sad, but its everything in between that makes it all worth living. '

I really don't have a BANG! beginning for my new blog, no BANG! post to make my entrance felt, and no BANG! story to narrate [ the BANG! is kinda getting to you?] . Beginnings for me, have never really been that great. They start with a small fizzle, no cork-pops-out-and-hits-the-ceiling-then-hits-the-dumb-guy's-head, and are usually tentative, hesitating, unsure. I stretch my imagination to an unbelievable extent, but keep myself grounded, aware of the reality. But slowly, as time passes, life unfolds, and something that seemed so unreal in the past, is now just everyday routine.
Best of my relationships began slowly, where I would be completely unaware of what a massively destructive, dysfunctional bond is growing right under under my nose. But it does. And so here I am, where I am.

And nothing's special about today either. I had started blogging three years ago, and used to really love it, as I learnt a lot. But a year back, habit faded, and I simply stopped. But a few days back, I felt the urge again, to write, to read, to learn and to share. And so here I am, where I am, again.

It's just a crappy night, when you don't like anybody or anything, and to give you company are only feelings of  hopelessness, mistrust, inadequacy, frustration. You wallow in grief and self-pity till you even disgust yourself, dismiss yourself as simply pathetic, and your ideal self is not even remotely close to your real self. Yet no matter what, no matter how deep you bury yourself in self-loathe, there is always a thread of hope, the tiniest amount of confidence, that you will bounce back because this is nothing, and you know that you can do so much. So you slowly assemble the courage, recollect the things you are best at, and start again. That's what matters in the end- to start again, never mind the times you stop.

So, I guess, all there's left to say is..



  1. I think I know you well enuff to be certain that you will believe me when I say you've really, really been missed.

    I agree. Beginnings are difficult, new beginnings even more so. Newton hit the nail on its head when he said inertia's tough to overcome.

    Sometimes, with habits and with relationships(for me atleast) some kind of reinforcement becomes essential just to convince oneself of the permanence of this new thing in one's life. So it all takes a while to settle down.

    Since I've been dispensing platitudes somewhat frequently in this comment, I'll give it another go. No matter how crappy one night is, it passes. And a crest follows every trough (or so my wave mechanics teacher insisted.)

    So, welcome back! And here's to beginnings! *raises a toast with imaginary champagne flute in hand* :D

  2. That was one hell of a first post!
    Well written girl.
    Have a good time here.

    And welcome back :)

  3. A good re start...... and as you know, the big bang theory never caught on :-)

  4. TUIB, thank you! Hmm, you're as sweet and as generous as always, I see. :) I agree with you, when you say that some kind of reinforcement becomes essential to convince oneself of the new thing's permanence. In fact, don't you think that even for old stuff, like old friends, somebody you haven't spoken to in a long time, its the same? Like, you call them up one day after many days, to maintain the connection, however feeble it has become now, and more importantly, to reassure yourself, that THAT is still there.

    Priyanka, thank you so much. :) lets start!

    Haddock, thanks! Really look forward to blogging with you. :)